Why do so many libertarians hate trains? It’s like hating guns or free beer. Dagney Taggert would like to have a word. So, let’s talk about why trains and urbanization are wicked awesome.
First off, did you know a double-tracked rail line can move as many people as an 8-lane highway? That’s right! That’d be like squeezing Chris Christie and Lizzo into a smart car—ridiculously efficient and a bit hard to believe, but it’s true!
We live in a car-centric society. Sure, cars are great, but let’s be real: being stuck in traffic is the opposite of freedom. If freedom means yelling at Masshole drivers and crying over gas prices, I’ll take a train ticket please.
Now, trains—especially those powered by overhead wires from clean, cheap nuclear energy—are a sustainable alternative. Pollution from cars? Forget it! It’s a property rights violation! Over 50 thousand Americans die every year from respiratory illnesses caused by pollution alone. Trains can help reduce that, and guess what? They’re safer and faster.
Urbanization isn’t just for hipsters. It’s about creating ‘third places’ where people can mingle. You know, like the libertarian version of Cheers or PorcFest.
Contrary to popular belief, our car obsession isn’t a free market triumph. It’s because of restrictive rules that make other transportation options nearly impossible. And don’t get me started on zoning laws—they’re like the fun police or the Federal Reserve. They ruining everything.
I dream of a New Hampshire with greater supply of housing and walkable towns. This isn’t a leftist conspiracy. Towns like Portsmouth and Peterborough are popular because they developed without these silly restrictions. Picture hopping on a train in Nashua, heading to the White Mountains for a ski trip, and not worrying about getting into an accident in a snowstorm. You can read a book, sip coffee, and enjoy the ride.
Trains can be privately operated, but to make this viable, our socialized highways and roads need to be privatized too. Look at France—their entire highway system is privately operated and funded. Who knew we could learn something from the French?
Cars and trains complement each other. A highly developed society needs a mix of transportation options. And let’s face it, automating trains is way easier than automating cars, Elon Musk!
So here’s my call to action, libertarians, let’s start by privatizing parts of our road system. Let’s create a New Hampshire where multiple robust and private transportation options make us truly free and happy. And who doesn’t want that? Probably the same people that think Bernie Sanders should run PorcFest next year.
